So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
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we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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