You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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