The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
