FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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