with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
