and i looked up. we had an audience...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
