When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
