If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
