Tell her she can't have a vagina
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
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If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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