Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
