Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize