sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
