the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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