i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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