that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
