i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
