these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
