did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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