Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
