I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
