i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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