Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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