Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize
