just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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