kristin has been a bad kristin
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
