Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
