so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We are two peas in an std pod
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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