Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Terrible idea I love it
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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