New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm really busy with my period
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