Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
