I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
