some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I love you. Go after that dick
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
