i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
