Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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