I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
