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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what did you do?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i asked her out. that's so hot.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.

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• (925): View more from California

  Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?

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• (510): View more from California

  can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.

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• (310): View more from California

  This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.

  (1-310): View more from California

  Depends

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