The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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