There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize