you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
