I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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