I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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