I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
