Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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