your thong is hanging out like whoa
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
