Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
