So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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