I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
