It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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