Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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