i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wish i was in the wii world.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
