i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
