so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
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Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
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You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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