If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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