My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
