My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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