carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
