yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
