Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
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Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize