you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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