My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Randomize
