We named our party play list daddy issues
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
