Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
