What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
