Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
